Embodying masculinity is not about fitting into a box of “what it means to be a man.” It’s not about adopting narrow, fixed ideas about what “real masculinity” is. These are prisons that men have lived in for too long and have caused too much pain and suffering
With no guideposts, and very few models of evolved masculinity, how can you hope to evolve yourself as a conscious man?
The path to embodying a more conscious masculinity begins and ends with practice. But you must also get a complete reeducation on what masculinity really is. It’s different from what we have been taught throughout our life. Masculinity is a set of traits and qualities to be played with and practiced with. The thing that can change them from rich, powerful, and deeply loving to reactive, collapsed, or controlling is your own wounds, traumas, and programs.
Through the art of masculine practice, we access a depth and presence that supports us in breaking from old, unhealthy, unconscious, unevolved ways of manhood.
Most men who come into men’s growth work want to focus on understanding what healthy masculinity is and what it is not. For many, it is a mind-blowing process of deconditioning old unhealthy programs about what it means to be masculine and what it means to be a man.
This work is just as liberating for a man that seeks to be free from the shame that comes from being a nice guy people pleaser as it is for a man that lives with grief and rage.
There are two glaring misunderstandings for you brothers that want to embody more healthy and powerful masculinity. Both of the following ideas are huge misconceptions that fuel the fire of confusion around masculinity.
First, in deep masculine inner work, you are NOT taught to negate your healthy feminine qualities. You’re not going to be taught to negate beautiful feminine qualities like compassion, emotional sensitivity, intuition, and nurturing. Without these healthy feminine qualities, men can become unemotional, insensitive, and aloof. This work is not about making you into an unfeeling tough, macho guy.
On the contrary, this work teaches men a high level of self-awareness, self-reflection, and emotional literacy that can help to break unhealthy patterns. In this work, men learn how to enter a depth of presence that allows them to more skillfully hold space for their own deep feeling, loving heart. To be an evolved, awakened, whole man, you must raise your emotional intelligence, which does not come through avoiding emotions. It comes from increasing your capacity to lovingly be with them.
And number two, you’re not going to be asked to suppress your powerful, assertive, and fierce masculine energy. Deep masculine work is not about diminishing those attractive masculine qualities that open hearts and inspire.
By learning to safely practice with healthy masculine qualities like presence/consciousness, directionality, and decisiveness in their daily lives, men can more easily access more confidence, true authenticity, and evolved masculine power.
Your work is embodiment!
The first step in masculine embodiment is to better understand what healthy masculine traits and qualities are and then artfully practice with them in your daily life.
Masculine Embodiment is not just a theory or a concept; it is a way of being that requires training. It is a being-ness that you embody and live from in your daily life.
Embodying deep masculinity is a practice of sensitively feeling our own hearts and the hearts of others. On a practical level, it is a daily practice of showing up for ourselves, caring for ourselves, and offering love and presence as deeply as possible for our partners, friends, family, and community.